Who You Marry

Who you marry matters a great deal as your choice of a mate will affect you for the rest of your life. Just because he/she is handsome/pretty now and he/she makes a good amount of money and seems like a nice person, does not mean he/she will be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. And just because he/she goes to church does not make him/her a born-again Christian who follows the Bible and the will of God.

If you marry someone who is a nonbeliever, you are walking into a life of hell. Maybe not right away, but it will happen, and you will be sorry. Then you can either divorce him/her or you can honor your marriage vows and be stuck for the rest of your days so be SURE before you say "I do."

Don't Be Unequally Yoked

What on earth does that mean? If you have attended a Bible-based church for a while, you know exactly what it means yet so many Christians ignore this important command. It means that who you marry is important to God and to you. If you, as a born-again believer will listen and obey this command, it will save you countless hours, months, even years of pain and heartache!

Let's look at the Scripture. The most familiar quoted translation of this verse is from King James. The verse is II Corinthians 6:14, which reads: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" II Corinthians 6:14 KJV

The New International Version translates it as:

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" II Corinthians 6:14 NIV

A yoke is a wooden frame used to hold two oxen together for plowing purposes. People of biblical times were very familiar with the concept of a yoke. The farmer put a pair of oxen in the yoke and it caused them both to move in the same direction at the same time so the farmer could plow his field.

When you get married, you and your spouse will be "yoked" together. You should both be going the same way with the same purposes in your hearts. If one of you is a believer but the other is not, you will not have the same purposes in your hearts. You do not realize this when you are "in love" and caught up in the moment, but who you marry will have lasting consequences on your life and on the lives of your future children.

One of you will be living for Christ and the other will be living for him/herself and for the world. One will want to go to church on a regular basis, read the Bible and pray together, tithe, raise your children to be believers, and put God first in everything you do. Who you marry will make a huge difference in the way you will live.

The non-believer may allow you to do some of these things, but his/her heart will not be in it and in the long run, he/she will not be supportive and will not be a good example to your children. Who you marry can affect whether or not your future children come to accept Christ as their personal Savior. After all, if Dad is not a believer, why should the kids want to be? Some will, but others won't because they will listen to Dad (or Mom.)

You will not be happy, no matter how much you think you are in love prior to the wedding. Do not form a permanent union with someone who has not made Christ the Lord of his/her life. As Paul put it, do not be unequally yoked.

If you do, you will most likely live in misery until finally he/she divorces you or until he/she receives Christ. This can happen but don't count on it. Don't get married thinking "I will change him/her." You won't. Your unbelieving spouse will grow to resent you putting God ahead of him/her and it will be a huge point of contention the longer the two of you are together.

Just remember that you have been warned both by Paul and by me. I cannot tell you the number of our relatives and friends, and couples in the churches that my husband has pastored who have shared with us how much they have suffered because of bad marriages because they married non-believers.

Please listen. Don't do it. You will be sorry and then it is too late. Save yourself as a born-again believer for the believer that God created for you to marry. Who you marry is the second most important decision you will make during your lifetime, with the first being that you decide to become a born-again believer. He/She is out there and at the right time, God will send him/her your way.

Here is some more information to think about before you get married. Enjoy Simple Living - True Love Waits: Christian courting vs. "going out and dating". 9 deceptive mindsets about premarital sex. Truth about sex and inspiration to stay pure in body and heart.

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