Your Christian Wedding Vows

Exchanging Christian wedding vows is just one of the many ways for you to create a meaningful ceremony. These can be traditional or contemporary.

The traditional words usually come from your pastor or from the minister or priest officiating at the service. You can also look them up online. It seems each denomination spins its own little twist on the traditional words with the base being the same for all.

The contemporary wording can be something that your minister provides. It can also be something that you and your fiance write together. If you are good with words, go ahead, write your own vows. They will be a lot more special to you than just repeating something that your minister tells you to say.

Either way, contemporary or traditional, make sure the Christian marriage vows you choose to take reflect your lifelong commitment to each other, with Christ as the Center of your marital union.

Many traditionalists within churches get hung up on the "do you promise to love, honor and OBEY?". A lot of old timers will insist on the bride promising to obey her husband.

Brides, if this is what you want in your ceremony and if you feel comfortable with it, then go ahead and include it in your wedding vows.

If not, CHANGE THE WORDING! If your minister won't allow you to, change ministers for the wedding! for the ceremony! Do not be forced into promising something you do not feel comfortable with just because your grandmother promised it.

My mother did the "love, honor, and obey" bit with my father. Throughout their marriage, they fought constantly and he was always bossing her, telling her what she had to do. He would throw the "you promised to obey me" routine in her face. She could never spend any money, earn any money, or make any decisions on her own. She could never go anywhere on her own because she did not drive and most of the time, he did not want to take her anywhere. No way was I going to go through that garbage.

As I planned my wedding, I did not feel at all comfortable promising to obey, so I said no way to that vow and my husband-to-be had no problem with it and it worked out great. Of course, my minister was fairly young so he understood. We used the phrase "love, honor, and cherish."

Before you write your own vows, check with your minister to see if he is okay with it. If he is, he still may have some restrictions on what you are allowed to say in his church. If he does not approve and writing your own Christian wedding vows is important to you, find a new minister to marry you. Really, any minister will do, but it is nice to have your own pastor there to marry you on your special day.

Remember that this is Your Special Day so you should be allowed to write your own Christian wedding vows if that is what you want to do.

If your parents and/or grandparents are traditionalist people, you would be wise in keeping this a secret until the wedding to avoid family fights.

Family fights due to weddings are common and explosive, not to mention ugly. Been there, done that. Avoid conflict at all cost. Don't ruin this special time of planning your wedding with fights that you can avoid.

Okay, so you and your fiance have decided to write your own words and it is okay with your minister. Great! Where should you begin?

Get a pad and a pen and your fiance. Sit down together and think back to the beginning of your relationship. Consider the following questions, and jot down notes:

1. Where and how did you meet?

2. Where did you go on your first date?

3. When did you first realize that you were in love?

4. What are some of your favorite things to do together?

5. How do you see yourselves in the future?

6. What do you hope to accomplish together in 10, 20, and 30 years?

7. What Bible passages and other books do you enjoy reading and sharing?

8. What do you enjoy talking about with each other?

If any of his answers, especially to questions 5 and 6, really scare you or are completely opposite to your own vision of your life together, run for the hills, Baby! Don't marry him, or trust me, you will be sorry for the rest of your life! Life is too short to regret getting married every single day for the rest of your life. You do not want to live that way. God has someone out there for you who shares your values and your dreams. Wait upon him!

Incorporate the answers to some of these questions in your Christian wedding vows.

Some couples each write a paragraph or so containing their statement of love and commitment and read it to each other during the ceremony.

Other couples write one together and break it into parts, taking turns reading it aloud during the ceremony, as in a play:

Bride:

Groom:

Bride:

And so on.

You can use Scripture, love poems, readings, and/or the words to a favorite love song along with your lifelong pledge of love and commitment into your Christian wedding vows.

Whatever you prefer is fine as long as you are committing yourself to your fiance (and he to you) in your Christian wedding vows.

Index Of Wedding Vow Pages

Traditional Wedding Vows

Wedding Ceremony Vows

Are You Writing Your Own Vows Or Using Traditional Vows?

Do you have a great story about wedding vows? Did you and your fiance write your own or did your minister use something other than traditional vows? Share your ideas with other brides-to-be here.

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