Advice For Weddings

I get a lot of e-mails asking for my advice for weddings so this page is just that--my advice and opinion.

First of all, know that you will never be able to please everyone on both sides of the family. No one can. You can try, but it just won't happen. So, decide what you and your fiance want and just go for it. This is your big day. Your families already had theirs.

When I was planning my wedding, there were a lot of fights and demands. Both sets of parents decided not to attend my wedding. I just don't get that. Finally, even though many things were still not their way, including the choice of my groom, minister, and some guests who I wanted there but they did not want, my sister and my parents decided to come. My brothers still refused and none of my other relatives came. No one from my husband's family came to our wedding.

Close friends from our church came to our wedding, but not my best friend. She did not care for my husband so at the last minute, she refused. Unfortunately for us, she was our piano player and our special song singer. So we had to scramble and find someone else to do the music.

She is a fabulous musician and over the years I had watched her do a lot of weddings beautifully and I really wanted her to do the music at mine. She said she would...then changed her mind. She did not bother to inform me until I called to tell her something. Then she just dumped it on me over the phone. I was in shock. Since then, she has nothing to do with me. I have made attempts over the years, but nothing. Sometimes I really miss her. So much for support from friends and immediate family...

But the important thing is that the bride and groom and the pastor showed up for the wedding and it has been almost 22 years now so I guess it took...

I found a very sweet teenager at church who played the piano and she was willing to play for my wedding. It was her first wedding so I had to give her every song I wanted played while guests were waiting for it to start, but she did a beautiful job.

Two other friends did the special music while we lit our Unity Candle so the ceremony was very nice. Still those who were absent were sorely missed. I really tried to accommodate everyone, but it just did not work. I made a lot of concessions, yet look at how many did not show up. So my advice for weddings is to do what you want, not what anyone else wants you to do.

If those you invite want to come to your wedding, they will. If they do not want to come to your wedding, no matter what you do, they will not come. So don't bother getting upset or making a fuss. They forget that this all-important day in your life is about YOU and not them.

This is your wedding day and not anyone else's so just forget them and remember that it is okay to have what you want on your wedding day.

To this day, my family does not like my husband and most of my husband's family does not care for me. My "best friend" has nothing to do with me, yet my husband and I are still married.

My advice for weddings is for you to make a decision. Do you want to be with your fiance for the next 20 plus years or do you want to spend that time with your family and "best friend" instead? For me, after months of fighting and trying to please everyone, the choice was easy.

Now for some financial advice for weddings. Do not spend thousands of dollars on your wedding, unless you are wealthy. Realize that your wedding day is just one day. Yes, it is an important day and you want to celebrate but to spend the amount of money that many spend is crazy. Use a big chunk of that money as a down payment on a new home or buy a nice vehicle that the two of you can enjoy. Put it away in savings for your future.

Buy a pretty white wedding gown but it does not have to be a designer gown. Have a nice reception, but cater it yourself with help from your wedding party. Get a good photographer because you will cherish those photos for the rest of your life. Forget about the limo, the band, and other expensive trappings.

More advice for weddings is DO TAKE A HONEYMOON TRIP! My husband decided new furniture was more important so we had one night away in a town only 30 miles away. Whoopee! It was extremely disappointing.

If I could go back and change anything, I would have insisted on my original honeymoon plan of going away for a week to California. We never did get to take that trip. Don't let that happen to you.

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